With our thoughts invaded by flowers, poems and an abundance of red I thought this appropriate...
We, as a people, seem so conditioned from childhood to believe in happily ever-afters (I blame fairytales and Disney) that we have to wonder; will we ever be satisfied with the happily-now, comfort and companionship, instead of constant butterflies?
Men and women, respectivly, have so over-complicated the idea of romance that the institution of marriage seems to mean less and less every year, which is, I think, tragic. We all expect to be swept away in this maelstrom of flowers, lightning bolts, lobsters and penguins (I refer you to 'Four Weddings and Funeral', 'Friends' and 'Never Been Kissed' if you don't understand that last bit) when really ideally all things being well* should perhaps be reserved for the start of a relationship when everything is new and shiny, instead of expecting it to last forever and then breaking up or divorcing when it doesn't. (*obviously slight generalisation here as sometimes the start can be hampered somewhat).
Now, the concept of soul mates is all very good, but what is so very wrong with a life lived without finding one? A romantic one, I mean. Does a persons life mean nothing if they don't feel they've found one? I wouldn't have thought so.
But then the sad thing is that some people go through life constantly looking for one and leaving each relationship ( possibly with a wonderful person who could've been pretty much perfect for them..and probably is) because they're holding out for 'the one' or 'just knowing'.
I couldn't live my life like that because I think I'd go mad. I believe that if soul mates exist, they do so because we create them. I certainly don't think that some of my closest friends were my soul mates to begin with, but I do believe they became so later on because we had so much in common and worked on our relationships and became so closely ingrained in each other that it is now inconcievable that we should be anything other than soul mates. We chose to be.
In this same thread then, perhaps people only become soul mates in a romantic relationship by doing the same thing; working on it. Maybe then, people shouldn't go into relationships expecting automatic soul mate status because it seems to me that in these cases people will inevitably be broken when it doesn't happen.
It's okay if some relationships don't work out or end for whatever reason, but being blind to the possibility that it might fail should not be an option because then when it does, it hurts all the more and it's like you somehow failed or were fooled. I never walk into a cake shop thinking I'm not going to like the cake or it's going to make me ill and if I have a cake that I really like, I'm certainly going to want to keep going back for more to check if it's my favourite.
This is why I think walking through life looking for a 'soul mate','true love' or 'the one' is a dangerous road to follow; most of the time you hit a brick wall or your expectations are too high and you come crashing down when real life or reality hits. Also people seem to expect relationships to just work without any effort or work, those in the best relationships rarely tell of their hard times but they'll always agree it takes work, patience, communication etc.
My mission I guess is not to look for my soul mate, but to look for someone who could become one, who I connect with, laugh and talk with - have all the right ingredients with - which is a wholly different thing.
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