A Picture of You

One of the main things, if not the most important thing my dad introduced me to when I was small is photography.

Because we lived apart we'd spend lots of time on outings taking photos of anything and everything. I had the little wind on plastic toy cameras with plastic frame pop up view finders and my first automatic film camera was a Kodak 3500 disc camera I received for my 6th birthday

It went everywhere with me, I'd taken photos of birds in the sky that when developed were nothing more than a small dark smudge against the azure. I'd line up my Sindy dolls and pose them for the camera. I persecuted my dog chasing him round the garden and house for the perfect action shot. It was a total obsession.

As I got older I started to use my Dad's SLR camera and we'd develop our own photographs. I'd experiment with exposed sprockets, black and white and multiple exposures, all from the comfort of our garage and kitchen. I can still smell the fixer if I put my mind to it. Good times.

Throughout my teens my 35mm camera was a constant companion, I'd go to so many gigs and events I have boxes upon boxes of prints of so many great moments. I've also got boxes of random blurry snaps, corners of something or other and...what the hell is that?! snaps.

I'd be a regular at Max Spielman and Boots 1 hour developing stores anxiously waiting for the results, ripping open the envelope to view my prize often before I'd left the store. I've lost count of the amount of Polaroid film I've used in my 32 years.

Capturing imagery of those around me has been a life long love and I'm no different now, the development of digital cameras and mobile phone cameras has made me worse. My random snaps have got even more so and much more frequent also satisfying my desire for instant results. I annoy my boyfriend, my cats, my mum...my friends pretty much everyone I think. I'm a fan of candid or natural poses which can sometimes make me a slight predator with my tiny lens peeping up from over the sofa trying to catch a pensive look whilst in the middle of a computer game, or peeping round the corner in the kitchen to capture my mum making tea.

I've never bothered to learn about photography in a professional sense, I've always been a point and shoot or experimental shooter.

However I have of late dreamed of the excitement the waiting for processing gave me and the physical print in my hands. The grainy, over exposed prints, the vignettes, the experiments. I'm going back to analogue, it's lo fi all the way. I find myself reading up and researching and I'm totally falling in love with my old cameras again.

With the 'trend' for phone applications such as hipstamatic it's easy to say why bother with the fuss of film and waiting for the prints, paying for developing. But it's just not the same. It's the element of surprise I love too. Companies such as Lomography have really cornered the market for lo fi and toy cameras making it all the more alluring and easily accessible.

I've just bought for a tiny amount a Smena 8 camera, a primitively gorgeous 35mm camera from the Lomo manufacturers in St Petersburg, Russia. I'm awaiting the arrival of my new acquisition, the excitement is building already.

If I'm ever lucky enough to have children myself I'll certainly try to instil a love of images and photos. I know photos can be a touchy subject for some with the emphasis on self image and critique being way too prevalent in society but in the comfort of your own home viewing memories can be something truly wonderful.

Lurgy

I've always been a sickly person, it's a burden I've had to put up with since I was small.

I was terribly ill from birth when I was premature, almost died, have had double pneumonia and various other respiratory related conditions. Suspected epilepsy and cystic fibrosis. In my adult years I'm asthmatic, I get migraines, I have a back injury and I have a low immune system and seem to be a target for every bug that passes my way. I hate it. I'm always welcome to trying new ways to boost my immune system and try to fight the bugs, but something always seems to blight me. If I was a puppy at a rescue centre I'd have been put to sleep a long time ago.

Not only that but I feel like I'm stigmatised. I pride myself on being a hard worker, I never say no to tasks given to me, even when they're not mine to do or they're the less attractive option. I get a great sense of satisfaction for being the person people turn to to 'sort stuff out', secure in the knowledge they trust once spoken to me I pretty much get it sorted. However when you return from a day or two off ill all the good work seems to be undone and it takes a few days for things to return to normal. Requests come with 'are you in?, will you be around on...?' It's frustrating but for me sadly unavoidable.

I do however have some rules. I won't sit and work late when I don't have to just to 'show face', I will work late or long hours or on weekends when the job requires it. I also take time off when I'm sick.

There's a horrible culture in this country where you have to be at death's door before you should take time off. The work/life balance is skewed firmly in the work favour. I honestly believe the number of viruses and colds that plague us all over winter months would be less prevalent if the people who get them stayed at home and got well instead of dragging their snotty germ spreading beings into work. Within a day of that happening the rest of the open plan office community begin to drop like flies. It drives me mad. Don't get me wrong, I'm one of the lucky few who actually enjoy my job, but I really don't enjoy the wry looks or comments or the sense you've missed something just because you've been away, it's always just one or two people as well who seemingly have the constitution of iron and are NEVER ill. The cynical 'ooooh I hope you're feeling better now, what was wrong' sends my skin crawling. These are the same people who'll then take pleasure in telling you which members of staff have been struck down with your germs and how you 'really should've stayed at home' ARRRRRRRRRRGH.

The most ironic thing? My dad has only taken about a week off work sick in his entire 30 year career...honestly you'd think his genes would take pity on me. But for now I should go, I've got gastric flu and have spent way too much time getting to know, on an intimate level, the far reaches of my toilet bowl.